I had my £700.00 mountain bike stolen at some point between 1am and 10am this morning. I live on the first floor of an apartment block, and it was taken from outside the door to my apartment. As the main door into the property is often left ajar by at least one other tenant in the building, this inevitability comes as absolutely no surprise. However, I cannot deny how fucking annoyed I am that some opportunist bastard(s) felt justified in stealing another person's property for reasons indeterminate. I could very easily cast many aspersions to the tenants above and below me, however, I will reserve judgement for now. I have reported this theft to the relevant authorities, and although I am not at all hopeful of its return, I have taken the liberty of posting a suitably worded poster on the inside of the main entrance informing the guilty party(s) of an amnesty lasting precisely one week from today with no questions asked. The bike is post-coded and data-tagged, and has been reported to the relevant authorities, but was not locked, as I thought, albeit naively, that my personal property would be secure where it was. This just proves how wrong we can be, doesn't it? Bellshiners. All of 'em.