Panic in the streets of Bath....
I tried to go out for an hour or so this evening with a view to getting my confidence back in such matters. I failed. Dismally.
Once a month, the local Deaf and Hard of Hearing community meet in a pub called The Raven. Tonight was the meeting for March, and I walked over to see how it would feel, just as I have done for the past four months. As I was approaching the pub, I could see already just how busy it would be by the large number of people going inside. This did not help my already fraught nerves. I waited around the corner for about 15 minutes to compose myself, and eventually went inside myself. I walked upstairs to where everybody was, and was horrified to see the number of people there. It was quite literally packed full of people. This was far too much for me, and I froze where I was stood at the top of the stairs. I have no idea how long I stood there glued to the spot, but it felt like an eternity. A lady came out and asked if I was okay, at which point I turned and hurriedly left the building. I found a quiet spot near the River Avon and calmed down from the panic attack I'd had, vowing never to be so stupid again. It is obvious that social settings and I are never going to work, so I think it is about time I resigned myself to the fact that I am better off not subjecting myself to such overwhelmingly frightening situations.
After an hour or so sat by the river, I suddenly realised how cold it was, and although it was nice and peaceful, I decided to return back to the apartment. En route back, I saw Kevan, a chap I met in Bath a few months ago. This guy is a really interesting man, with an absolutely fascinating and astounding array of knowledge, talent and intellect. When his website is back up, I will post a link as his work really is worthy of a much wider audience. In the meantime, I will recommend this writer to you all. She is another of those under-rated and highly-talented writers that one cherishes forever when one has discovered the gift these people have to share. Lisa's website can be found here. Wifeage™ and I feel so honoured and privileged to have her as a friend.
This afternoon (I can still remember when the mail arrived in the morning), I received a very promising and encouraging letter from the Admissions and International Recruitment Department at the University of the West of England regarding my application to study there. The letter contained a rather detailed questionnaire about my Educational Support Needs, and asked me to detail how my deafness and photosensitive epilepsy affect me on a daily basis and as a student. I received no such documentation prior to enrolling at the University of Bath, which adds some weight to my hypothesis that Learning Support in Bath seem to make it up as they go along in some respects. Having also sent eMails to the teaching staff and heads of departments I met on the Open Day last month to let them know I had submitted my UCAS application, I was further encouraged to receive equally promising replies from all concerned about my application. Subsequently, I am hoping to attend the next round of Open Days next Saturday and meet with the staff again.
I can honestly say that this is the most optimistic I have felt about anything in a number of years, and admittedly, it feels quite alien right now. I cannot deny there is some trepidation, but I know that the sooner the University of Bath and I part company, the better all round this will be. It is clearly far too early to tell either way as to whether I will be accepted at UWE, but I am hopeful that some good will come from all this activity. Your support is appreciated, as ever.
This may be of interest to some of you. Science for the ladies; soft porn for the, ahem, gentlemen among you. Enjoy!
Have a great weekend, everybody!
Rachael.... ♥
Once a month, the local Deaf and Hard of Hearing community meet in a pub called The Raven. Tonight was the meeting for March, and I walked over to see how it would feel, just as I have done for the past four months. As I was approaching the pub, I could see already just how busy it would be by the large number of people going inside. This did not help my already fraught nerves. I waited around the corner for about 15 minutes to compose myself, and eventually went inside myself. I walked upstairs to where everybody was, and was horrified to see the number of people there. It was quite literally packed full of people. This was far too much for me, and I froze where I was stood at the top of the stairs. I have no idea how long I stood there glued to the spot, but it felt like an eternity. A lady came out and asked if I was okay, at which point I turned and hurriedly left the building. I found a quiet spot near the River Avon and calmed down from the panic attack I'd had, vowing never to be so stupid again. It is obvious that social settings and I are never going to work, so I think it is about time I resigned myself to the fact that I am better off not subjecting myself to such overwhelmingly frightening situations.
After an hour or so sat by the river, I suddenly realised how cold it was, and although it was nice and peaceful, I decided to return back to the apartment. En route back, I saw Kevan, a chap I met in Bath a few months ago. This guy is a really interesting man, with an absolutely fascinating and astounding array of knowledge, talent and intellect. When his website is back up, I will post a link as his work really is worthy of a much wider audience. In the meantime, I will recommend this writer to you all. She is another of those under-rated and highly-talented writers that one cherishes forever when one has discovered the gift these people have to share. Lisa's website can be found here. Wifeage™ and I feel so honoured and privileged to have her as a friend.
This afternoon (I can still remember when the mail arrived in the morning), I received a very promising and encouraging letter from the Admissions and International Recruitment Department at the University of the West of England regarding my application to study there. The letter contained a rather detailed questionnaire about my Educational Support Needs, and asked me to detail how my deafness and photosensitive epilepsy affect me on a daily basis and as a student. I received no such documentation prior to enrolling at the University of Bath, which adds some weight to my hypothesis that Learning Support in Bath seem to make it up as they go along in some respects. Having also sent eMails to the teaching staff and heads of departments I met on the Open Day last month to let them know I had submitted my UCAS application, I was further encouraged to receive equally promising replies from all concerned about my application. Subsequently, I am hoping to attend the next round of Open Days next Saturday and meet with the staff again.
I can honestly say that this is the most optimistic I have felt about anything in a number of years, and admittedly, it feels quite alien right now. I cannot deny there is some trepidation, but I know that the sooner the University of Bath and I part company, the better all round this will be. It is clearly far too early to tell either way as to whether I will be accepted at UWE, but I am hopeful that some good will come from all this activity. Your support is appreciated, as ever.
This may be of interest to some of you. Science for the ladies; soft porn for the, ahem, gentlemen among you. Enjoy!
Have a great weekend, everybody!
Rachael.... ♥
